@2BRN2B Denmark is rotten. Gonna go to England w/ Ros and Guil. Maybe sum1 will off me on the way. #FML #lifeispain
@Frankieboy God rest my poor father’s soul. On the bright side, now I can invite that skunk-haired hottie over whenever I want. #gettinglaidtonight
@travelinman @penelopechicka, love you lots. Rough day for me. Naked fish-women and gigantic one-eyed fatties. Be home in 5 years.
@Pendrag0n Waterlogged female just hucked a sword at me. I feel powerful. #gonnabeamightyking
@nevergunnagrowup @WENDYBIRD IS A SMELLY POOPHEAD FOR NOT CUMMING BAK 2 C ME LOL J/K ILU WENDY
@Deduceme Watson just threw my violin out the window. He had no right. It’s only 4 o’clock in the morning. Oh, and I’m out of tobacco. #lifeispain
@theonlyDon RT @spanza That is the last time I launch a full-scale attack on a windmill. Can I have my island and be governor now? #soretomorrow #oyvey
@LizzieBee OMG @CharChar I have news!!! U can prolly guess it’s about @MisterDarcy!!! BTW how is @WillieCollie? You preggers yet???
Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde:
@Jekyde sdofiawfnowfaslkfha;sdloiwenhvfavwokfiaskjfhasofiuaewg Evidently Hyde’s fingers are too big to fit on the keys. #haha #laughingwhileican #godiamsoscared
@Curiouser Tweedledee and Tweedledum just asked me for a threeway. Somehow this just seems like the lay of the land. #atleastitwasnotthehatter
@fuckoff Not going to be on Twitter again. Stopped paying internet bill to save money. @Cratchitman, if you so much as look like you’re complaining, you’re fired.
The Ancient Mariner:
@heysailor I can never get that thing about the albatross straight. Am I supposed to shoot it or not? I think I will. Damn thing just shat on my lookout’s head.
@Bagginsforever Saw @mithrandir take @Ringbearer01 into the house. Both came out two hours later looking tired and sad. #whatisgoingon #ismynephewgay
@ImsoPrynney Pearl just threw up in the laundry. @Dalesdimme, little help? She’s yours too. #oops #perhapsishouldnthavesaidthat #ohwhofuckingcares
@IVantU: Stephanie Meyer, I’m coming for you. This madness must end.